visual, visual!
pictured above: my home. i live in a most gorgeous house. i don't always like it much because the landlord is stressful and it's in such a suburban location. but i surely have good company here, and that is worth a million woes. you can see my journal stacked on my computers in the living room, next to our cinnamon donut hole beanbag. i used to sleep on that beanbag back when it was a staple of a friends' apartment and i had license to crash overnight. now i can sleep on it whenever-- a catnap in the sun is often best, or midway through a movie i'm watching alone. you can also see snow outside the window there. they do an excellent job of paving the roads, i will say. we've furnished this place mostly for free, which means the couch sucks pretty bad (not pictured). so i sit on the floor (pictured). i vlogged there on wednesday, in the sun. it wasn't my most articulate go. you can also see in these pics where my room connects with El's, and the interesting geometry that all the doors make. i like to think about those angles. i used to like to think about the white space in between the photos she hung up all over her wall freshman year. i would study the gaps, and note where spots were uneven. i would concentrate so intently, with peace. like noting the details of a favorite illustration. at other times i would study the texture of Adam's fuzzy sublime poster. i'm not sure i ever touched it, but i would look at it very, very much. all scenes from beds.
pictured below: myself. just an update in case you forgot what i look like. boyish selfies with my caseless phone. the two on the bottom are from my digital camera and were taken last summer. someone else's pot on the stove really makes it. you wouldn't know it, but it was actually quite bright outside that day. gosh that kitchen was so bad at getting light. the one on the bottom that isn't digicam generated is of a student's phone where we recorded a tiktok. the rest of these are taken either at home (bathroom, bedroom) or in somerville, of all places (gas station, bar). overall, what differences do you notice? call in.
(insert pictures here)
last but not least, let me actually ruminate. and say something. the following are lyrics from trophy wife's "keep it" and "the shame". at some point, we do need to get into how into their music i am-- the how, literally, the why. ugh. for now, though, a product:
well, for starters, idk what this is supposed to mean. so we're going to ms paint this shit. besides being fantastically sung, it seems that the first set of lyrics (keep it chorus) is mad to the point of belittling; they point out their own labor with keeping a world together that their audience would rather tear apart. i can't say i relate to this particular frustration, dealing with a manchild or something. but maybe when i grow up i will get it. as for the second set of lyrics (the shame) there is a picture painted of incredible lust, get that. self-destructive desire takes the cake here, but not without self-awareness of one's inclination to sin. love that. thank you trophy wife for letting me try my hand at criticism. i wouldn't have anything negative to say about you guys, though. not while i live in fantasy. not here in kateworld, where i can make myself in love.
(insert lyrics here)
wanting to sleep now because im tired. owe this blog more of my intellectual thought, not just dumps. i ought to make a post about just 1 thing at a time, maybe. that was the original idea, anyway. go listen to trophy wife. so by the time i get my story out there we can all appreciate it together.
love you
kate
sat feb 12 11:15pm
