hi blog, missed you too.
i don’t try to be angry, but a lot of the time i just am. this really only hurts me. i get miserable and sad about it. sometimes i figure my irritability is my body’s way of telling me it’s hungry or tired, so i feed it, and break. and yet
writing this was a good idea– i can already tell its starting to doze off, just a little. still i’m mad at a bunch of things. you can imagine the vectors shooting out from behind my ribs in a plethora of directions, sharp and targeted. mostly at people, i guess, or circumstances. big difference, i know. but whatever. on one hand, i house all these weird values and general angst. on another, you could just call me sensitive. (i might have once cried, haha, but it’s true.)
marching band (cue audience reaction) takes a lot of time & effort from me, and i don’t get a ton in return. that’s one reduction! much more within the honestly painful & complex situation to discuss but, no… that! scratch uno. scratch dos? the repairs around my apartment have been completed rather shoddily; net-zero outcomes, i say, pessimistically-upon-reflection; there are just as many problems as there were before our requests were handled, i exaggerate. on the real, that’s just annoying, sorry. sorry i’m being a bitch, idk, blame my other, more serious, home security trauma that i’m not going to get into right now/you just have to take my word for! ugh, god, so bad at this. that’s the other thing though, i thought while making pizza for snunch (snack lunch)– why do i feel like a bitch all the time?
answer: either i) i am or ii) i’m crazy
finally::: maybe im passing ! and maybe my good friend from high school will visit me in october ! and maybe i will learn to talk all of the time the right way ! maybe, leaves will turn orange, and fall, and everything will be alright.
cya,
kate
9/21/23
p.s. post playlist:
- opener: a thread to find, shannon lay
- damn, ada lea
- eye on the bat, palehound
- my love mine all mine, mitski
- finale: big girls dont cry, fergie